Going through my old diaries

Today afternoon, I was cleaning up my room and I found some of my old diaries and photos and cards lying together in my blue cupboard.That afternoon, through some old diaries and photos, I learnt a lot of things.

I found my 2010 diary, I wrote it when I was 10 years old. I read this diary entry of the day I had my NSTSE exam. My handwriting, my writing, now when I look at it I realize how much I have changed and improved in the last 6 years.

Here’s that particular diary entry-

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I read more entries and wondered if the girl who wrote this used to reside in the same body as the girl who is reading it now.

I realised how much i had changed ever since and this doesn’t make me sad, if anything I am happy about it.
No matter how much you change and for what, what only matters is that you changed for good.

The only person you should try to be is better than is the person you were yesterday

Back to those days when my life revolved around my school performance or my best friend. Now when I look at them I see a lot of me has changed, in so many ways (my fascination with pens and the habit of checking pens before exams remains intact).

Like I said before in a previous post, to create a new yourself you have to lose yourself. Yes, I would say I lost a lot of me. I lost the girl who used to cry when her history textbook went missing, I lost the girl who used to start her diary entry with- today I woke up, I brushed, I bathed and had breakfast, I lost the girl who used to do think coming home straight from school and finishing your homework and getting As was the best human you could ever be. I lost a lot of myself.

But along with that I made a new myself. I found myself, I created myself.
Even now, I am not the perfect person I can be. Cause I can’t colour inside the lines and I am perfectly incomplete, I am still working on my masterpiece.

In a way, I think everyone is painting their own masterpiece, but also that no one can complete it. Because the painting of your life is not meant to be completed.

Like John green says you die in the middle of a book, in the middle of a sentence, I would add to it and say you die in the middle of your painting, the painting of life that you paint each day, the masterpiece that you are creating.

P.s. The masterpiece line is inspired by the song Masterpiece by Jessie J.

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6 thoughts on “Going through my old diaries

  1. Really darling I’m glad that u too maintain a diary. I too have my dairy of 6th class, u remember d fun we had, huhhh i do and laugh at the silly things we used to do, like shouting from our campus at travellers, it was fun, huhh miss those days, whenever i read it i just see ur lovely face and want to hug u. Love u my dear i still write a diary just like u nd am so happy to read this. Ya changes r necessary in life but still dnt change completely or u’ll miss d past Srushti.

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    1. Oh my god, hi! Ikr! Yes, I do remember them. I remember all of it vividly in my mind that at times the scene comes alive in my mind and I cry the tears of happiness rememberingthe good old days. I miss them and you a lot. Never stop writing, be it diary or poems or anything else. Yes, right. Sometimes changes are good, but not so much that you lose what makes you you in the process. Love you Sanjana.

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